Hello there, I am writing this to give an overview of this place to anyone this blog come across and introduce myself. Starting with my name.
I'm Louie.
I aim to become a future CEO and founder of Fortune Global 500 Companies.
I'm very ambitious and I am fully aware I am nowhere that goal but who knows the future right?
I started writing here to vent my feelings, maybe even make a normal blog talking about a niche or something. Over time I've decided to write here to update or talk about something important for me and maybe others.
Writing here serves purposes for me such as:
- To journal.
- Inform others.
- Attract ambitious people.
- Talk about my emotions and feelings.
Who Am I:
To make this easier. I made three different section. Who am I in the past, currently and what I carry in the future.
Spoiler this won't be a summary.
The past.
I've changed a lot.
Just 3 years ago I use to spend a lot of time wondering the internet for something that interest me at any given moment. I dont care if i get anything done nor do i plan to. Now I circle around the question if anything I do would help me achieve my future goals.
I wont say i have a hard life or easy. But my life has a lot of different texture.
I had an amazing childhood with many friends, we move from 3 different cities, I lose many friends and we always have financial difficulty thats almost always our main reason for moving and now were on our 6th apartment.
From the age 14 until 19 I have been responsible for chores around apartment - washing clothes and dishes, raising two of my sisters with 2 year age gap. Both my parents have to work to support our family.
Around 2019 while im in grade 9. I discontinued school mainly because I'm getting bullied even in my elementary years one teacher keeps making fun of me to a point ill fake being sick just so i can go back home. Bullying didnt stop there I was bullied until high school ill go back home exhilarated, i have no friends, people make fun of me, I distance myself to everyone that time. Despite those challenges in school Ill go back home everyday and still take care of my siblings and the apartment I feel so tired of everything I thought everything is pointless. Nobody cares a bit about me. I persuaded my mom that i drop out because i am so bullied and at the same time i can unload a responsibility on my grandmother who take care of the children while im away. My mom agreed.
Unbeknown to me that decision would changed my personality a lot. I became more active, i get more rest, I became friendlier toward people, i was finally outgoing, i can speak my mind and have fun with others which compared from past has been nothing but a dream, by the time we have to move to another apartment I already have so many great memories. All while being responsible brother to my sisters. The time and freedom i had also expanded my interests.
As time came life remind me to take responsibility on my own life. Kids grow up so fast.
With the help of my mom she persuaded me to learn modular on high school and study on ALS which is around 2022.
I was hesitant but I did it anyway.
I still haven't finish K-12 I'm halfway grade 11. When i told someone dear to me i haven't finish high school. He didn't question why. Instead he asks me a forward thinking question instead of asking more about my past. Its ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Well for me, I could've chosen mechanical engineering /computer science or architecture to be honest. Its more defined than how i told him about it because before i was a big explorer and i couldn't decide. But what wouldn't change is that I'm always interested in things that serves the human race, especially electronics, robots, buildings, cars, aviation. As well as everything that expands my understanding is intriguing like particles and the universe.
I didn't like learning if I'm forced, or if need it for a profession for the sake of money. I wanted to learn because I want to understand and create something.
Some people argue that people should study for a job. I mean even our parents asks us what we want to become someday and urge us to go to school right?
Well for me. I didnt study to have the jobs I had.
I tried many different jobs before not because they were interesting for me but to acquire experience and really just take some time away from home for personal reasons lol.
Around 2024 I tried building my own business but it failed before it even started. I didnt even know how to get a job around this time.
But learning from my failure, taught me a lot and gave me many great experience and memories.
That's about it in my past.
The present.
I have set aside my other interests and become wiser where to spend my time and energy.
My goal right now is make my first mobile app successful. I live the past 6+ months starting on june/july of 2025 to move closer to that goal. Yes Im still very far but Im very far from where I started.
Some more shifts in my personality as well are :
- Writing plans
- Keeping a to do list
- Becoming more disciplined
- Having more prayers
I prayed more than i have in the past 2 years more than in my entire life.
So far I like where everything is going but still I never face a day without a problem since I started this journey but it helps make things interesting. Sooooooo. I wont complain.
Into the future.
I carry Plans, Hopes, and Dreams.
I have many plans. Some were inspired by imaginations some are by my struggles.
I always try to remind myself my hopes and dreams whenever life feels heavy.
When things dont go as expected, when the day feels silent, when i feel others emotion and I feel worn because i didnt keep a promise or worse when i have no one to talk to.
Old memories also plays a role in how i keep myself together.
This is going to be unrelated to anything mentioned so far but its something that's quietly motivating me sometimes.
I dont know why i met this person but its really fascinating to me when he came.
I met someone on slowly. An app that lets you connect with people by sending letters and writing open letter or reading open letters where people introduce themselves or talk about random things. The app is meant to encourage slow conversations and the letters has delays before receiving them depending on both the sender's and receiver's location. For us we have a 2 hour delay and he lives in the same country,
His letters were thoughtful, it was so empathetic it feels like he was really trying to search and form friendship online even if he already have friends in person. For once, I felt like someone is interested to know about my life, plan, ideas and my emotions. I was ecstatic.
His name was Vynce. I described him over and over and my feelings everywhere in this blog.
Another person who I have this kind of memory is a neighbor.
It was very weird. We barely know each other, we never had a conversation. Our houses had a high fence and we only can hear each others voices. We were rowdy back then. We play loud music everyday, we sing, my little sisters cry i mean we make so much noises, but they never confronted us about it. I was so naive back then. I miss this time sometime. I miss how less lonely i feel back then.
But if youre curious and you also believe music can describe a person this is how i would describe them:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6S913d2SQFlqpLOqDhally?si=ms2KBuXYRG6icUwdFb-SPw
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/22YkDN8YqqmVbT6iTKkvSs?si=SfLaZVuUQyWzmabIVy-ZDA
They might occasionally appear in this blog. I introduced them here for reference.
Last Notes:
I have many unpublished post here they're more sensitive so i keep them unpublished. I republish them when i see fit.
This is just being playful if you want to stay anonymous and say something to me.
You can fill out this form.
https://forms.gle/uYT5LZScQ6BuVQC57
Contrarily if you like to directly contact me im always at my email.
ljay75116@gmail.com
P.S.This post is variable.